


What Wall?

by willow_larkspur



Series: August Auction Fics [37]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Crack, Book 6: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Desi Harry Potter, Gen, M/M, Nonbinary Luna Lovegood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:20:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26322559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/willow_larkspur/pseuds/willow_larkspur
Summary: What is this fourth wall you are talking about again?
Relationships: Harry Potter & Luna Lovegood, Harry Potter/Blaise Zabini, The Defense Association
Series: August Auction Fics [37]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1869739
Kudos: 40
Collections: MC4A Year 3





	What Wall?

**Author's Note:**

> Legal Disclaimer: I own my stuff, but not the original source material. That belongs to whoever. Also, the opinions and interpretations I use here may not reflect the same in said whoever that owns the source material. Look, I’m just a poor college librarian. Suing me isn’t going to get you anything but tears.  
> Warning: This work may be offensive to some readers. Feel free to back out if need be.  
> Author’s Note: Did someone order crack? Too bad. Have some anyway.

(^^)  
 **What Wall?**  
(^^)

“What are you doing?” Padma asked as she sat down next to where Harry was embroidering some runes and sigils using royal purple thread onto a thick strap of stone gray canvas. Nearby, Luna was humming absently as they strummed a tune on an acoustic guitar. Padma had known that the two had grown close over the last year, what with the Defense Association and all, but she was still baffled to see Harry sitting in the Ravenclaw common room. Even weirder was the presence of Blaise Zabini on Harry’s other side. The Slytherin had not looked from the book he was reading, but Padma felt his attention alight on her with the ominous weight of warning.

“I’m decorating what is going to be the strap for Luna’s guitar,” Harry answered. He flashed her a smile, his white teeth standing out brightly against his dark face. “It’s going to be so cool.”

“I can see that,” Padma continued, growing only more confused, “but why are you doing that  _ here _ ?”

“Well, there’s two answers to that,” Harry said as he reached into his sewing kit for a pair of tiny scissors. Luna played a note that came out sour and sharp. They carefully twisted the knobs a bit to change the tuning. Only after they had started playing again did Harry continue answering Padma’s question. “Luna has been having problems practicing their playing in peace because some of the Ravenclaws like hexing their guitar. My embroidered runes on this strap should fix that.”

“I didn’t realize that’s why they had stopped playing in the common room,” Padma said. “I will definitely keep a sharper eye out now that I know!” She paused, her brow scrunching as she realized that there was something that Harry still hadn’t answered. “You said that there was two answers for you being here?”

“Oh, yes,” Harry said as he continued moving his needle through the fabric in his hands. “The other reason is that the author needed to cross the setting off their list. It’s the last prompt on that particular challenge list, you see.”

“I see,” Padma answered as if that entire paragraph wasn’t created just to generate a higher word count in order to better meet the minimum. “Why is Blaise Zabini here?”

“Because the author ships us together,” Harry answered dutifully. “They think that the dynamic of pairing me with a Slytherin is a classic way of creating tension but at the same time, they have major issues with Malfoy being a jerk in canon and well, Crabbe and Goyle are Crabbe and Goyle. Nott would have worked, but they ship him with Justin—remember him? He’s in Hufflepuff?”

“The potato house?” Padma asked, growing more confused not less as the conversation went on.

“Their mascot is a badger,” Blaise commented from Harry’s other side. He turned a page without looking up. “Badgers have been known to fight off both hyenas and lions, occasionally at the same time. I do not think  _ potato house _ is an accurate description.”

“I don’t know,” Padma countered with a blink. “Every Hufflepuff I’ve ever met has loved potatoes just as much as any hobbit could.”

“That’s because potatoes are amazing,” Harry said. As if to punctuate the statement, Luna gave an awesome riff on their guitar. Padma could nearly see the notes dancing in the air as if they were sparks from a wand. She gave up on anything making sense and shrugged.

“That’s valid,” Padma agreed. “Potatoes are pretty awesome.” She looked around the mostly empty room before leaning in to whisper. "Hey, did I ever tell you guys about the time I waxed my ass with chocolate pudding?"

“No, you hadn’t,” Harry said. “Is that even possible?”

“I don’t know,” Padma admitted despite being the one to say that she had done it. “It must be. I know of someone who once waxed their chest with marshmallow fluff, but that was an accident. They were trying to be sexy.”

“How is food sexy?” Harry asked bewildered. Blaise leaned over to whisper something in his ear. Instantly his brown cheeks began to darken. He said with a squeak, “never mind. Don’t tell me anything else! I don’t want to know!”

**Author's Note:**

> Submitting Info:  
> Stacked with: Hogwarts (Term 13); MC4A  
> Individual Challenges: Shadow HP Bribery; Gryffindor MC; Slytherin MC; Ravenclaw MC (x2); Neurodivergent; Rowl in Her Grave; Rian-Russo Inversion; Rian-Russo Inversion; Rian-Russo Inversion; Rian-Russo Inversion; Ethnic & Present; Ethnic & Present; Ethnic & Present; Ship Sails; Hold the Mayo; Gender Bender; Lunar Era; Old Shoes (Y); In a Flash; Bucket Listing (Y)  
> House: Slytherin  
> Assignment No.: Term 13 – Assignment 04  
> Subject (Task No.): n/a  
> Other Hogwarts Challenges: Insane Prompt Challenge [131](Thread); 365 [214](Needle); Herbology Club [4-8](Playing an Instrument); Auction [22-1]("chocolate pudding"); Tell a Joke Day [04](Ravenclaw Common Room)  
> Other MC4A Challenges: Hunt [Su Item](Sewing Kit); Chim [Deke](Royal Purple); Ship (Heroic Shadow)[n/a](n/a); TWT (NB Luna; Golden Era)[Task 3](Gray); Fire [Med](The Good Ship); Garden [Word Song](Cool)  
> Representation(s): Desi Harry Potter/Blaise Zabini; Luna Lovegood; Padma Patil; DA as Family  
> Primary & Secondary Bonus Challenges: Lyre Liar; Surprise!; Second Verse (Ladylike; Not a Lamp; Found Family; Nontraditional; Zucchini Bread; Unwanted Advice; Car in a Tutu; For the Vine; Lovely Coconuts); Chorus (Odd Feathers; Wabi Sabi; Fizzy Lemonade; Machismo; Peddling Pots; Mouth of Babes; Tomorrow’s Shade; Larger than Life; Unicorn)  
> Tertiary & Generic Bonus Challenges: T3 (Terse; Toad); SN (Rail; Ameliorate); FR (Satisfaction); O3 (Olivine); TY (Enfant); War (Obstruction)  
> Word Count: 704


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